Being a pop star is a serious job. You can’t just walk through the door and get started. You need to have a proper interview first. This month’s applicant is Dylan Cartlidge. The board will see you now.
What can you tell us about yourself?
I like triple chocolate cookies and ramen!
Why do you want to be a pop star?
So I can parade myself to the girls who used to say I was trashy.
How would your bandmates describe you?
You’d have to ask them…
What are your best and worst qualities?
My best is that I have the ability to identify any horror movie from when people say "I watched this movie where...."
My worst is that I’m still at Organisation Lvl 1 - more XP needed!
What is your biggest failure?
Sleeping too much…
What accomplishment are you most proud of?
Getting engaged, or recording at Electric Lady Studios.
Where do you see yourself in five years?
In a retirement home.
What is your salary expectation?
A Sky Sports subscription.
Taken from the May issue of Dork. Dylan Cartlidge's EP ‘Monsters Under The Bed’ is out now; he plays Hit the North on 5th May.
Featuring Lewis Capaldi, Fontaines D.C., Ten Tonnes, Little Simz, Billie Eilish, King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard and more.