We all know the true message of Xmas is best portrayed through Arnold Schwarzenegger’s 1996 masterpiece Jingle All The Way, but put that aside for a minute. While everyone else argues if Die Hard is a festive film or not, we asked Will Joseph Cook to run us through his top five Xmas films to get us through the festive break.
1. National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation
Taking the top spot is a Chevy Chase Christmas catastrophe, a festive slice of 80s Americana that stumbles from one suburban mishap to the next. Written by the legendary John Hughes (The Breakfast Club, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off), the film’s unabashed and cynical humour is unmatched when it comes to Holiday classics. Featuring everything from brutal kidnappings to surprise SWAT team raids, Christmas Vacation is the anti-christ of yuletide movies, and you need it in your life.
2. Tim Burton’s Nightmare Before Christmas
Falling into an IMDB category I would rarely associate myself with (‘Fantasy/Musical’), this foreboding Christmas fable is an absolute home run from start to finish. Aside from its very original storyline, the film’s painstakingly immersive stop-motion animation is reason enough to check this film out. Taking the quintessentially innocent theme of Christmas magic and mutating it into a haunting Halloween/Xmas hybrid, Nightmare Before Christmas couldn’t be more Tim Burton if it tried. In short, this film sleighs.
3. The Grinch
Jim Carrey recently told the media he doesn’t exist and claims he never did. He explained that there is no birth or death, future or past, self or other, only the eternal present… LOL, THE ONLY ETERNAL PRESENT I CARE ABOUT IS THIS HILARIOUS CHRISTMAS MOVIE! Starring the conscious energy formerly known as Jim Carrey, The Grinch is a heart thawing tale of an evil beast learning to love. Throw this on and tell your uncle you tolerate him.
4. Home Alone 2
An all-time classic and arguably the greatest sequel to any Christmas flick. Starring Macaulay Culkin as a mischievous Kevin McAllister, this endearing adventure comedy is sure to spice your apples this Christmas. The film is based on the questionable premise that Kevin’s parents have once again forgotten their son exists at Christmas. Mistaking a New York flight for his family’s Miami trip, Kevin finds himself living the high life in the Big Apple, battling it out with crime duo and long-term nemeses ‘The Sticky Bandits’. Personal highlights include a total lack of realism in regards to life-threatening injuries and a sensational one-line cameo from Donald Trump. To be honest, if you haven’t seen this film, did you even childhood?
You’ve heard of Elf on the Shelf… so why not try this festive Will Ferrell comedy. I know what you’re thinking, why put everybody’s favourite in fifth place? My reason being - this film blows! It sucks! My heart is made of stone! Rubbish! (It’s actually good.)
Taken from the December 2017 / January 2018 issue of Dork, out now. Order a copy here.