We’re more than half way through the 2018 auditing period, Dear Reader. That means it’s time to pull down the shutters, call in the staff, and do a stock check on the only thing that counts. Cold, hard Bangers.
We’ve run the sums, calculated the co-efficients, and come up with our definitive top 50 tracks of the year so far. You can read the full run down now in the new issue of Dork, or keep pace on readdork.com over the next few days as we count down.
As we go, we'll be checking in with some of 'the bands' to chat about the songs that made the list. Sports Team are one of our best and brightest new talents, so it's no shock to see their 2018 turbo-banger 'Kutcher' make an appearance. We had a quick chat with Rob from the band about everyone's favourite actor-turned-prankster.
Hey Rob, hey Alex. ‘Kutcher’’s good, isn’t it? What’s your favourite thing about the track?
Henry has a good guitar solo at the end. It sounds a bit Tony Hawk Pro Skater, but he just about pulls it off.
Why Ashton Kutcher? Were there other mid-00s celebs in contention for the role?
Ashton Kutcher’s name has a nice rhythm to it. It’s four evenly spaced syllables, which makes it very easy to work into a song. Kimora Lee Simmons was much harder to write around.
What’s your fave Ashton Kutcher film or TV series? That ‘70s Show is probs ours.
Punk’d is the one for me. It’s pretty incredible it got made, he’s really cruel. There’s one with Justin Timberlake which is particularly upsetting. Kutcher spends a day tearing his life apart. They take his dogs away from him. Someone smashes his guitars. At the end, there’s a scene where Justin finds out all his friends and family were in on this big plan to crush him. It’s good TV though.
If you could Punk someone famous or otherwise, who would you pick and what would you do?
One of Rick Stein’s pet hates is the abuse of EU Fishery Policy. People are openly flouting the law by catching fish too small. I’d probably serve him a simply grilled bowl of ‘sardines’ before revealing to him that they were baby herring.
Do you think Ashton has heard the song yet?
I’d imagine he has a PR team who give him some sort of daily briefing. I hope it’s come up. I don’t know whether he’ll have got through to the solo though. That’s the bit I really think he’d like.
What else have you lot got coming up? You’re playing Scala soon, right?
We’ve just come off a week in the studio, so there should be some new songs. We’re just in the mixing phase, but all going well those should be coming soon. And then Scala. We’re doing a site inspection in the next few weeks, so will be finding out how plausible some of our ideas are. Robbie Williams at Knebworth is the mood.