This month, Alex from Sports Team runs the gauntlet of our random, stupid queries.
What was the first record you bought?
AC/DC - 'High Voltage'. That Steps album is probably up there, too.
When’s your birthday?
What did you last dream about?
That I was in this six-piece band full of warring parties, desperately pushing tickets for a Spring tour.
How tall are you?
What strength Nandos sauce do you order?
Don’t go very often but I reckon the strong one. Our loyalty brand at home is Bring The Pain.
Have you ever sold your own CD or merch on eBay?
This is an odd one. We’d read about something called pheromone dating, so we made our own spray. I sweated into a t-shirt for three days, and we immersed it in oil for months. It sat in a pretty foul looking jar in the kitchen, which I think was once split in Oli’s room. We tried to sell that on eBay, but it was quickly taken down (still available under the counter at gigs though). We’ve never sold a CD or merch there.
What was the last thing you broke?
We did a show at House of Vans in December. Felt quite reckless so we invited everyone on stage midway through the set. Bouncers shut down the whole gig, and all our stuff got destroyed. We left immediately to rejoin the Hinds tour in Munich.
Who is your favourite member of the Spice Girls?
What would you do if you were Prime Minister for the day?
What’s your biggest fear?
Being asked the question ‘You’re all called Sports Team, are you guys really sporty?’ in interviews.
Do you believe in aliens?
Look, we’ve all seen Ancient Aliens.
What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without changing your pants?
Really, really long.
If you could win a lifetime supply of anything, what would you choose?
What’s your biggest accomplishment?
We were genuinely very heartened when we sold out Scala [in London]. Ben’s dad has a party trick where he puts a thick kebab skewer through his cheeks though, so it’s all relative.
How punk are you out of ten?
What have you got in your pockets right now?
Gum, passport, a guitar pick, dutch receipts, and a Eurosonic wristband. Apparently, you can make an account online and get the money you topped it up with refunded. None of us have worked out how yet.
If you were on Mastermind, what would your specialist subject be?
We like John Betjeman. We bullshit a lot now though; I’m not always sure which ‘facts’ are real anymore.
What’s your fave TV show?
Al’s boyfriend Dill just introduced us to Toast, think it might be a bit crude even for me though. Floyd on Africa is great. A niche one too, there’s a bit of a raconteur called Jake Thackray who Rob likes. He’s made some brilliant TV worth looking into.
Have you ever written a fan letter?
I think Al wrote them to most of the early noughties United squad.
What’s the naughtiest thing you did at school?
Remember peanutting? That.
Why are you like this?
I’d venture it’s a mixture of genetics and environment.
Taken from the March issue of Dork, out now.
Featuring Sigrid, Drenge, Sundara Karma, Indoor Pets, Stella Donnelly and more.