Dork: Asking nosy questions so you don’t have to.
We're nosy. We like to know what life is like for our favourite pop stars. Proper life, y'know. Not this fancy glam sham they'd like us to believe. That's why we're asking some of them to give us an account of exactly what they get up to in a 24 hour period. This month... Will Joseph Cook.
Alarm. Why’s it so cold in my flat? I should turn the heating on, it’s definitely not summer. Why does my heating thing have three different timers? Text flat mates, they don’t know either.
Check Twitter for disastrous/sensationalist news. Watch YouTube subscriptions.
Shit, it’s 10am. Make breakfast, no time for porridge so grab a cookie and an apple.
Out of the flat, set a pace for the station. Remember dream, why did I dream that, am I okay? Brush under the rug.
10:30am - 11am
On the train. Blast an album (Calvin Harris, ‘I Created Disco’). Probably should have got up earlier, start thinking about all the things other people have probably done by now. A baby pokes my ear from the seat next to me.
11:15am - 12pm
At the writing room. Open an old session, start rearranging things, make it a bit worse and then revert back to how it was. Go to make mint tea, no mint tea, serves me right. Make normal tea, no milk, begrudgingly drink the weird tea.
12pm - 2:30pm
Put phone on ‘do not disturb’ because I’m a busy busy man. Start new track, sounds promising. Is ‘World’ really a type of instrument? Does anyone use 90% of Logic synth presets? Sounding less promising.
Should probably eat something. Get lunch. Remember dream, why did I dream that, am I okay? Brush under the rug.
3:15pm - 4:00pm
Two missed calls. Call people and talk about stuff that isn’t music but is to do with music. Realise I should do actual music things again.
4:00pm - 7:30pm
Re-open project. Get a lot done, maybe too much ‘World’ though. When I go to pee, someone warns me that there is a courgette on the piano and asks if it’s mine. I said “It’s not mine.” I decide it’s time to leave.
8:00 - 11:50pm
Meet friends at the pub. Some guy tries to paint Louis Theroux as an unbalanced journalist and a big argument breaks out. Me and friend briefly leave to buy chicken wings and return to another argument about the feminist agenda. We decide its time to leave.
11:50 - 12:20pm
Walking home, admiring how sparkly the roads look at night when they’re wet. Arrive outside my flat to find what appears to be a Sainsbury’s bag filled with soiled bananas. It looks like it was thrown onto the pavement with force. It was quite the mess so I think about cleaning it up.
12:30 - 01:40am
We watch an assortment of things on the internet over some Doritos. This included a Hannibal Buress stand up show. It’s really funny.
We go to bed.
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